I Have a Bit of a Problem

I have a problem, and it's been bothering me for a while now, and I wanted to talk about it today. {Note: This is not related to travel at all, and is a bit heavier than what I usually share. However, I really feel like talking about it, so here it goes.} 

The Problem I've Been Having: 

I have a problem with the way women talk to other women, and at times the way women talk to themselves. 

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I think this problem really started to bother me when I started teaching middle school last year. The way these girls talk about each other is ridiculous. I started to notice how the girls would interact with each other in my classroom and in the hallways, and then I became aware that this is a problem for women of all ages. 

Girls are mean to girls. Even girls that are supposedly friends are so mean to each other. And what I find troubling is that these young girls thinks this behavior is perfectly natural. 

When I was a freshman in college, I had some girlfriends that I was pretty close to. And one thing that really bothered me was they would greet each other by saying things like- "Hey, bitches" or they would call each other names like "Whore" "Slut" etc. 

Call me crazy but, my nicknames for my close friends aren't derogatory. 

And if you think it was bad in 2006, it so much worse today! I taught middle school, and I was so surprised at the way these girls talk to each other. Some of the stuff they said I'm pretty sure I had no idea what it meant. I don't know how many times I heard "F- yous" swung around the hallways, and most of the time it was in a joking manner. I don't know if I'm being a prude about this, but it just really bothers me. But for real, ladies clean your mouths out. Your best girlfriends should be treated with respect, and calling them a whore is not the way to do it. Even if you think you're joking. 

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Another off shoot of this problem is the way a lot of girls/ women talk about food today. When I was teaching back in the states, I had a group of girls that would always eat lunch in my room. And by eat, I mean they would sometimes bring a pack of tuna with them and split it among the four of them. Most of the time, they ate nothing. And when one girl actually brought a full lunch she would eat it almost in a guilty way, the whole time saying "Oh, I'm such a fat kid" 

This is completely crazy to me. Now, I know exactly where this pressure is coming from, and really don't want to get into that topic today, but good grief! Has it seriously gotten to the point where girls can't buy/ bring lunch to school for fear of being a 'fat girl'. 

And imagine my complete shock when a friend from high school, who is currently in med school, was saying the same exact thing about finishing her dinner and having dessert! She put a picture up with the caption 'fat kids' under it. 

I understand the struggle with body image. I really do. And I get that there is so much pressure. And I guess what I want to say is just because you enjoy your dessert, or you eat lunch- does not make you a 'fat kid'. I really wish we could stop feeling the pressure to justify ourselves for wanting to eat. Being afraid to eat, or being afraid to like to eat is a place that is so depressing to me. I saw this with my girls all year, and regardless of what I said, or the food I brought it- I never saw a change in their behavior towards food. And as someone that was supposed to be there to teach and inspire, I must admit I felt completely defeated. 

As women, we have so many more problems in the world than having girlfriends talk badly to us, or being afraid to eat real food around people. We need to be building each other up, not cutting at each other. 

But what's frustrating is what do we do about this? How can we help other women through this? I am struggling here because I really don't know how to fix this problem that is bothering me. Do you guys have any suggestions? How do we help fight this battle against self-esteem? How do we show our girls not to talk to each other like trash? 

And that's the end of that- I'll get off my soap box now.