Friday Flashback #35

My mom always loves when I post stories about her and how awesomely mean she was when I was a kid. 

Okay, she doesn't love it, but for some reason the stories that come to mind when I am doing a flashback are always stories of my mom in some way being kinda mean. But I don't want you to get the wrong impression, my mom is a great lady... she really is... I swear. 

I know I am going to get a phone call after I post this, but I really wanted to share this story. 

{Mom, I think you know what's about to happen here.}

Now, I must note that I actually don't remember this story- not because it was so horrible I wiped it from my memory, but because I was too young- I just know it really well because my mom told it to me a lot. 

 Around the age of two I developed a problem with darting off while I was walking with my mom. I guess I would just loosen myself from her hand and I would take off. This would always panic my mom and make her nervous about taking me places. 

Around the same time, we had to go on a trip and take an airplane to get to where we needed to be.  

And as you know, airports are really crowded. 

 I guess my mom was a little worried about how I would be in an airport, so she decided to take precautionary measures. And by precautionary measures, I mean she bought me a leash. 

Now I like to think my mom bought one of those stylish ones parents get to try to hide the fact they are essentially treating their child like a pet. (You know the ones I am talking about -the doggy ones, or the monkey ones.) 

But let's face the facts- we were poor so I probably just got a leash. 

Anyway, we are at the airport and my mom puts my leash I mean "Toddler Harness" on and starts to walk. I quickly start to follow her... you can imagine me half walking half dragging on the ground trying to keep up with my mom's pace. My little toddler legs going a mile a minute. 

Now I hated walking as a child, and I am sure being kept at a fast pace didn't help the situation. So it didn't take me long to figure out what is going on and when I do- I go limp.

 Limp like a rag doll- which causes me to just essentially be laying on the ground being dragged by mom frazzled mother. 

My mom stops and says "Come on Alex- let's walk."

In which I reply my famous last words: "I'm not a dog Mommy." 

The rest of the conversation is hazy, but I do know my mom took that "Toddler Harness" off right quick and I never saw it again. We made our plane safely and I never had to wear a leash again. 

You gotta love my mom for trying.