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Monday, March 4, 2013

Working on Us

I have wanted to write this post for a while, but I kept putting it off because it is such an important topic  that I didn't want to mess it up. And then I realized, as with all my posts, nothing is perfect. It is more important for me to speak what's on my mind than be afraid to write it because it won't be perfect. 

Matt and I are constantly working on our marriage. Every single day we put in the effort to make sure our marriage stays alive.

"Marriage does not guarantee you are going to be together forever, it's only paper. It takes love, respect, trust, understanding, friendship, and faith in your relationship to make it last."- Unknown 

To do this, I often find inspiration through outside sources. I read blogs, I read books, I look at quotes on Pinterest, I listen to my parents, my church leaders, and pretty much anything and everything to help us with our relationship. 

{image via}

I want to share a secret with you- I am terrified of getting divorced. I know most people don't walk into a marriage thinking yeah I love this guy, but eh it would be okay if it didn't work out. 

But I feel like I am paranoid that one day I am going to wake up and think what the heck have I done and then just run away. 

Now that might be my slight anxiety talking, but it is a major concern in my life and because of it I chose to live hyper-viligant with my relationship with Matt. And I think that is okay. 

We work at this relationship every single day. And some days it is not pretty, and some it's the best thing ever. That is part of the work. Finding things for us that work. This is the purpose of the post- Helping others find something that works. 

So I wanted to share some of my inspiration on keeping my marriage alive and well. I am no expert; heck, I still consider Matt and I newlyweds, but I think any bit of advice can't hurt those feeling like they need a bit of something. 

Today I wanted to talk specifically about finding inspiration. I love finding things that make me want to be a better person, and the things I list below do exactly that!

1. Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman- Seriously one of the best books I have read when it comes to marriage. It's not too long and it gives great advice. If you are engaged or in a serious relationship, I encourage you to read it, and then of course talk to your loved one about it. 

2. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman- Uh, what can I say- I like Gary. This was not my favorite boot, but I do think it has a great message and has a lot of great points. I would also encourage reading this. {I will talk more in detail about this book at a later date.} 

3. Friday We're In Love- Ummm this blog changed my life. Well, maybe it wasn't that dramatic, but I love reading every post Camille writes. The purpose of Friday We're in Love is to document their Friday Night Dates. They strive to stay out of a 'business' like relationship with each other and really stay in love. And they do this through dating each other. This is something Matt and I are currently working on. We noticed that some days we would be in the same room all day and had barely spoken to each other. This really bothered us and we are trying to 'date' each other more often. 

4. A Blog About Love- written by Mara and Danny. The title says it all. I love Mara and Danny's story. I love their message, and I love their purpose for writing. This blog gives young couples, like Matt and I, and older more experienced couples plenty to think about in our own marriages and love. Every time I read this blog, I am inspired to be a better wife. 

Over the last two years, and through my research I have learned "Keeping love alive in our marriages is serious business."(Colman) This is the foundation of our lives, and we need to treat it as such. 

I am in no ways perfect, but I know that through hard work and constant active love towards Matt, we can get through any hard spot. 

I will try to post every so often about what Matt and I are doing to help our marriage of two years continue to grow. 

Until then, here's something to leave you with: 

{image via}

Love ya, 

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- Alex