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Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Coffee and Conversation #15 {Forgiveness}

A couple weeks ago, I particpated in my first ever Coffee and Conversation. I love the concept of getting together and sharing  on a certain topic. {I have been a bit busy and forgot to link up, but I am still going to answer the question.} 

If you missed June 24ths post click here

Coffee & Conversation

The question of the week is: 
"What does forgiveness look like? At what point do you realize it's time to forgive and move on if someone takes advantage of you?"

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." - Les Brown

For me, forgiveness is sometimes hard because I have a hard time not bringing up the past. I have a hard time putting whatever offense happened, or whatever comment was said behind me. This is something I have always struggled with. So this topic is a little difficult because it is a challenge. 

But maybe that's the way I define it. I believe true forgiveness is not necessarily forgetting the incident or the issue, but being able to put it behind me. Being able to move forward with the person in spite of what happened. True forgiveness is leaving the past exactly where it belongs: In the past. 

And I believe sometimes that is necessary even if a formal apology was not issued. 

{image via

Forgiving is for you. You feel better when you are able to forgive, and it's necessary because no one is perfect. If we expect to be forgiven for our wrong comments or acts, we have to be willing to forgive others. 

In terms of when it's the right time to forgive- I think that's just up to you. Some offenses are slight and take much to get over, while some are large and they take a while for the hurt to heal. 

For me, when I am obsessing about the problem I usually know it is time for me to forgive. When this issue is taking over my thoughts, the only way to free myself is to let it go. This does not mean I am not going to be wary for a while after, but I will let the issue go. 

Forgiveness is a hard and necessary part of life. Without forgiveness our lives would be very empty because the fact of the matter is everyone makes mistakes. 

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- Alex